A question everyone ponders...

[865rolla]

for those serious-minded people out there, know that this is a joke...

Everyone has their moment where an a-hole yells something retarded from a lift to you on the ground. Or maybe some a-hole is bouncing up and down in the chair behind you... whatever the case: everyone needs to know how to deal with these people.

everyone wonders what the best sharpening tool is for the tips of ski poles... which caliber of ski pole penetrates the skull quickest... but not anymore.

Eliminating A-Holes on the Slopes 101

First, find a real long ski pole & the most expensive ski you can find.

Second, use the edges of the ski to sharpen the first 2 to 4 inches of the pole to a sharp tip.

Thirdly, lift the pole over your shoulder, pull your arm back, and lunge the pole so the tip penetrates the a-hole.

This method works on lifts as well as the slopes. If someone sees you do it, simply fall and say, "Where'd my ski pole go!?". They will think the pole flew upward out of your hand unintentionally.

[865rolla]

Ahh, I see you passed 101. Welcome back, students.
Now this is a college course...

You begin with a few short ski poles & a skinny 90cm skiblade (not boards, make sure it is thin rather than wide). remove the bindings from the blade. next, cut a few wire strands from the lift's chain. remove the handles on the ski poles.

next, sharpen the tips of the poles where the handles were with a sharp ski. jab holes into each end of the skiblade with a ski pole. now braid the wire strands together and tie to the holes of the skiblade.

hold the middle of the skiblade with one hand while holding one of the poles by the rubber cup with the other. pull back with the rubber cup on the wire strand so that it creates a bow and arrow. stretch & hold until steady & locked on target. release.

if someone sees you, say, "YEEHOO, I GOT EM, MAMA! I SHOT THAT THERE DEER!" Everyone will forget about the dead a-hole because rednecks are funny.

[Greco]

yo rolla, i moved this because we don't want to confuse the new guys more than they already are. but i do like your original question...how to deal with the assholes? probably best to ignore them and let your riding speak for itself. i find once people see you ride and they are impressed they feel stupid for giving you shit.

[gurwadd]

Couldn't agree more, the lack of understanding of what skiboarding is effects the public image of the sport. I've encountered some prejudice on the slopes, in fact just this weekend I had somebody ski by me on in the lift line and whisperd in my ear "you're cheating". I come from a skiing background (I've been skiing since I was 4) and found this to be quite insulting, I choose to skiboard not because I can't ski (this is the image skiers have in their mind) but because I enjoy skiboarding more (I love running glades, always have, looking forwarding to learning tricks in the terrain parks).

IMHO the best way to deal with this is to keep in riding and when given the chance to introduce people to the sport, make sure they get the best experience you can provide. We are all ambassadors for our chosen snowsport, and if we hold ourselves to enjoyment of the sport and promote it as it's own sport, not a subset of skiing then the public image of skiboarding can only improve.

[Jonny W]

next time they tell you your cheating, ask them how you are when you have to stomp tricks on something half the size they are riding. or actual don't say anything and when the same guy is sitting around in the park with his buddies taking up space, just go and stomp some tricks right infront of there noses, i find the second suggestion, has better effect, stomp the trick and ride away, don't look back cause you can gaurentee the guys cleaning up the mess in his pants after seeing what you just threw.

[865rolla]

i was sessioning the park this weekend, buncha snowboarders not talking, layin around for 10 minutes at a time as usual... random skiboarder comes haulin into the park, pulls a huge (n stylish) backflip off a jump & never comes back.

it's so much more suprising to do something like that.

[gurwadd]

Still learning to throw tricks, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway as he was an old man anyhow who obviously has a sad closed off life where he can only feel pleasure if he feels better than somebody else . A closed minded sheep is all he is. Personaly, I'm fine being the only one on the mountain on skiboards, becasue I am enjoying myself and pushing the envelope of my own skills beyond where skiing could ever take me.

I'm not cheating becasue I'm not even playing the same game...

[865rolla]

this thread gets funnier and funnier to me cuz i posted it as the most retarded joke ever and it's turned into a serious convo. that's aight tho i guess.

if anyone tells me i'm a cheater, i'm going to laugh in their face because that's the most retarded saying i've ever heard. "you're cheating" hahahah. then i would reply "and those long dicks in your hands make you look like a homo".

people are dumb for thinking something's easier because it's easier to generally ride. people think rollerbladings easy too.. sure it is if you're doin simple tricks. but haffey's disaster fakie 720 outspin kind grind aint easy.

i don't know why people are so happy to be riding something thats easier to ride, it just holds you back from busting out. manueverability is what allows tricks, the more you got, the more technical and bigger tricks you can bust. also allow more style.

not everyone enjoys fitting in & following the crowd.

[gurwadd]

You're preaching to the choir man. I was commenting on skier’s perceptions of skiboarding not the ease of skiboarding. I enjoy skiboarding because I can push my skills beyond where skiing could ever take me. Tight glades, learning to ride the parks, and all the more extreme parts of the sport are why I keep riding.

[zenderfall]

This is something I'm definately not used to.....

Down here in Southern California, there are very few skiers. Almost everyone here Snowboards. The ratio of Snowboarders to skiers is about 10 to 1, and the one could very well be me on my skiboards, if that even counts. But what's a little easier to bear is that, being in such a big, liberal, snowboarding crowd, I never get the disrespect that major 2-plank mountains dish out.

It probably has to do with how Snowboards used to get dissed on by skiers about 20 years ago. if you think you get dissed because you ride something that's a little shorter, imagine what its like to ride something that looks totally different.

But I envision that one day, if Skiboarding ever gains momentum, we'll probably have a mountain of our very own.

Hey, it happened here with the snowboards!!